Changes

Dillon is headed straight for the terrible twos...he's curious, into everything, and doesn't like to take no for an answer. He isn't afraid to stand up for himself, including at daycare. Yes, he's bitten others, and doesn't always play nice with others. I've only been there a handful of times, but most of the time it seems like Dillon is frustrated when it happens. We took him to see a pediatrician, who watched Dillon interact with us and looked him over, and said he was perfectly normal. I've looked up countless things on the Internet, all of which state it is just a phase, and we need to correct him. Which we have been doing.

I did some research online, found a great website, and in my excitement shared it with his daycare. Now I see why that wasn't such a bright idea; I think I frustrated her. I received an email back that they were giving us 2 weeks' notice. Completely blindsided me; per the contract I had to sign with them there was a whole process before getting to this point, but maybe this is for the best. Maybe Dillon needs a smaller setting, with more supervision. Nate describes the daycare as "chaos" and sometimes I wonder if the kids are being watched as closely as they should be. Nate and I toured a different daycare a few weeks ago, so maybe we should have seen this coming. Either way, it's no one's fault and everybody's fault. It is what it is, and all those trite sayings.

I'm surprised at how much this upsets me. I tossed and turned last night, after watching the first half of Breakfast at Tiffany's, trying to think about other things besides that email that created such a mixed bag of emotions for me: relief that there was finally a decision made; sorrow because I appreciated them and Dillon really seemed to like Bear, fear that I'm doing something wrong with Dillon as a parent, and not knowing what the future holds for his daycare while Nate and I work, and hope because maybe this is a sign that we really don't need to be paying for full time daycare when we only need 6-8 hours a week. There's really nothing I can do but say a prayer to God to show us the way and then to let it go.

Getting ready for PALS tomorrow. I'm afraid I'll fail and they'll wonder if they made the right choice, hiring me for the ER. I've been studying ECGs (pretty much teaching myself each one) and reading the PALS book cover to cover. Of which I still have 100+ pages left to go...I'll do my best and go from there.